HISHE: Tron Rap

An example of early computer animation.

If you're a dork like me, you'll love this. Although I still would have preferred a more old-school rap style for this particular video, like UTFO.

Captain Nicole Janeway

Nicole vs. Kathryn

You may know her as the powerful inmate Galina "Red" Reznikov on the Netflix original series, Orange is the New Black, but to me, Kate Mulgrew will always be Captain Kathryn Janeway, the bold and decisive intra-galactic spacefarer from Star Trek: Voyager (and also that evil bitch from Throw Momma From the Train). Mulgrew made headlines at the time of Voyager's premiere as the first female captain to head a Star Trek series. But it almost wasn't so. Despite the fact that Kate nailed the part in her audition and subsequently went on to become a fan-favorite, the part had originally been cast with another actress, Geneviève Bujold, as Captain Nicole Janeway.  However, the Canadian actress best known for her portrayal of Anne Boleyn in the film Anne of the Thousand Days (1969), was not up to the rigorous production schedule of a weekly television series, and promptly left the show after shooting only a handful of scenes for the first episode. Lucky for us, Kate was waiting in the wings to take the helm, literally, and the rest is Trek history. Thanks to the tireless video-editing efforts of a fan known only as "aobadge," we can now get a glimpse of how Geneviève might have performed in the lead role had she chosen to stay on board with the crew of the Voyager back in 1994. Check out the video below for a look at what might have been, at the time, the future of Star Trek.

BONUS VIDEOS: NICOLE JANEWAY VS. KATHRYN JANEWAY - PARTS 1 & 2

The Terminator - How It Should End

"I'll be governor!"

Everyone loved the Terminator movies, right? But that franchise's glory days were pretty much over once director James Cameron's involvement with the series came to an end. And while his action-packed, pseudo-sci-fiction "duology" pretty much stood on its own with the first two films, Hollywood as usual, got its evil mitts on the property and began to spawn terrible sequels and ho-hum TV shows and really just a bunch of un-necessary stuff that no one needed to see.

So leave it to the geniuses at "How It Should Have Ended" to come up with a final story to permanently close the series' final plot-loop-hole* and terminate the franchise forever. And how does one achieve this? Why, go back in time and kill the man who invented time-travel, of course! Enjoy the video!

*Patent-pending on that word.

Goodnight Dune

It is by will alone my teddy bear sets its mind in motion.

If you were an American kid at any point in the latter half of the 20th century, you probably have fond memories of reading the classic bedtime story, Goodnight Moon, before getting tucked in at night. Written in 1947 by the prolific children's book author, Margaret Wise Brown, this tale of sleepy bunnies, kittens and mittens has long been a staple of nighttime beddy-byes and has helped soothe countless little ones to sleep for years.

But there's always room for improvement,

isn't there?

Enter, Goodnight Dune, by Julia Yu. After stumbling upon a College Humor parody on Reddit about sci-fi children's books, Julia was inspired to create a mash-up of Brown's beloved bedtime story and David Lynch's eerily depicted world of Frank Herbert's Dune, as seen in the 1984 sci-fi epic. Got a geeky kid who loves sandworms and knows what a Gom Jabbar is? Then snuggle up with your little Quisach Haderach and a cup of hot cocoa (spiced, of course) and enjoy this excellent little tribute to two awesome American classics.

CLICK HERE TO READ "GOODNIGHT DUNE" BY JULIA YU

BONUS VIDEO: THE ORIGNAL GOODNIGHT MOON ANIMATED

Stalking E.T.

Do not attempt this at home.

By the early 1980s, Steven Spielberg was already becoming a household name with movies like Jaws, Close Encounters and Raiders of the Lost Ark firmly tucked under his director's belt. But 1982 would turn out to be the year ol' Steve would finally earn his place amongst the most successful movie makers of the 20th century with the release of E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial, a sci-fi-esque tale about a boy and his xenobiological buddy from outer space. While Spielberg's pal, George Lucas (of Star Wars fame) had already taught Hollywood how to make tons of cash by filming plastic models, blue screens and puppets, the box office earnings of Steven's E.T. proved that in the end, all they really needed was the puppets. Even without the fantastic space battles and over-the-top effects, E.T. managed to capture the imaginations of 80s moviegoers by expertly pulling their heart-strings in a totally non-stupid way and in doing so introduced them to the then-budding genre of the "feel-good-movie," something that pretty much only Disney had dabbled with up to that point.

Unlike Star Wars, the story of E.T. is not set in a galaxy far, far away and in fact takes place entirely on our own planet, which may help explain the film's more universal appeal. Instead of trying to digest a menagerie of alien peoples and bizarre locales, viewers quickly embraced the story of a single, out-of-place alien set against the backdrop of a comfortably familiar suburban America. The realistic accessibility of the film's settings, coupled with the emotional artillery of Spielberg's vision, is why, I believe, so many stalkers fans have sought these locations out, in hopes of reconnecting with their childhood memories and feelings, basically the same reason I write this blog.

Well if you were one of those kids whose favorite candy suddenly became Reese's Pieces because of this adorable little puppet invader alien, then check out this video by amateur filmmaker, Herve Attia. In it, he nicely dovetails contemporary photos of the various E.T. filming locations into original scenes from the film and surprisingly, many of the areas he visited haven't changed much in the last 30 years. The video is very well done and worth a look, especially if you're a fan. But if you're not, then go visit geekologie.com or something and read about bacon, which in fact, is not really that geeky no matter what they claim.

Highlander Remake on the Way

Can't possibly fail.

Yup, it's happening. With last year's stinker remake of Paul Verhoeven's classic, Total Recall, still fresh in the nostrils of indifferent scifi fans everywhere, Hollywood has decided to reach back to the 80s once more to completely and utterly destroy anything good that came out of that decade. That is to say, they're remaking the Highlander...

...I pause for a long, long sigh as a look of saddened defeat takes over my face. I'm not even going to go into all the different ways that the mere thought of a Highlander remake offends every facet of my being, so I'm going to adopt a more positive, gee-whiz attitude about it. Let's start over ok?

*Ahem*

Hold on to your hats cats and kitties cuz the baddest-assed, sword-swingingest, head-choppingist scifi-fantasy flick of 1986 is coming back with a vengeance! It's real and it's happening! Apparently, Summit Entertainment (you've heard of them right?) has snagged director Cedric Nicolas-Troyan to helm the flick that director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo (28 Weeks Later) dropped out of back in 2012. And word has it that Ryan Reynolds, who never, ever sucks worse than putting a red-hot, ant-covered knitting needle into your eyeball, has been tapped for the lead. This is going to be huge! And while the classically awesome rock-band Queen probably won't be on hand to provide the soundtrack again, due to the death of singer Freddie Mercury, I'm sure the producers will find someone to take the musical helm who is WAY better and more up to the task. Probably Seether. Anyway, stay tuned for more awesome news about a movie that totally deserves to exist! Until this sure-to-be-fantastic remake is thrust upon us, take a peek at the trailer for Russell Mulcahy's original epic adventure starring Christopher Lambert: a Frenchman doing a Scottish accent. Enjoy! (but not too much, cuz the new movie's gonna be SO much better! How could it NOT be??!!)

Mystery Science Theater Forever!

From left: Gypsy, Crow, Joel and Tom

Cable! Huh! Yeah! What's it good for? Absolutely nothing! Considering the rapidly rising costs associated with cable and satellite TV and the fact that high-speed internet is now a staple service in most American homes, it's no wonder people all across this great nation are cutting the cord, so to speak. The web's got the networks beat in terms of accessibility, cost and sheer amount of video content, and now there's one more reason to unhook that cable box once and for all. I present to you Club-MST3K, the site that let's you watch just about every single episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 ever made, even the original KTMA local cable channel episodes! If you're a fan, you already know the story. If not, here's a quick lesson: dude and his robots are stranded in space and are forced by mad scientists to watch old B-movies and make fun of them. If you want a history lesson, go HERE. If you just want to jump right into the videos and relive those wacky moments with Joel/Mike and the bots, click the big bold link.

CLICK HERE TO VISIT CLUB MST3K AND GET YOUR MST3K ON

BONUS VIDEO: BEST RIFFS MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000

12th Doctor Who Announced

Peter Capaldi will be taking over for fan-favorite, Matt Smith, as the 12th incarnation of Doctor Who

After weeks of speculation as to who would be taking over the role of the Doctor on BBC's long-running scifi series, it was announced that veteran Scottish actor, Peter Capaldi, will be handed the keys to the TARDIS. The reveal was made with much fanfare on August 4, 2013 and there's a great clip on YouTube of Mr. Capaldi's first introduction to the world as the titular character, however due to the sticky web of international copyright laws, I am not allowed to embed it here, so you'll just have to hit the jump to see the video. Sorry.

One interesting side note, I noticed while doing research on Capaldi that he is featured in the new zombie flick, World War Z, as a doctor for the World Health Organization. His character is listed as "W.H.O. Doctor." Coincidence?

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE AWESOME REVEAL OF THE 12TH DOCTOR

8-Bit Star Trek Reboot

Actual scene from J.J. Abrams' 2009 hit, Star Trek.

Ever wonder what J.J. Abrams' Star Trek movie would look like as an 8-bit game?
Me neither. Watch this...

Star Trek: Into Whatever

So I went to see Star Trek: Into Dark Knight Darkness last weekend and as a lifelong Trekker all I can say is meh. I'd say the movie was 20% Star Trek (pointy ears) and 80% generic fill-in-any-action-hero-you-like-and-it'll-still-be-the-same-flick kind of stuff (Tom Cruise). Don't get me wrong, the effects were great, the action was non-stop, Alice Eve stripped down to her underwear, etc. but still...meh...they should have called it Star Trek: The Search for Plot. Anyway, one of the (many) things missing from this flick was some genuine humor. Oh there were a few attempts here and there, but I honestly can't remember any of them right now, which means they must not have been that good. So in celebration of the fact that Star Trek still exists in any form and the fact that it's Friday and we all could all use some laughs, I present to you: What's In Spock's Scanner Parts 1 & 2. Have a great weekend and live long and, you know...

WHAT'S IN SPOCK'S SCANNER PART 1

WHAT'S IN SPOCK'S SCANNER PART 2

Battlestar Galactica 8-Bit RPG

For those of you who missed it, Ronald D. Moore's 2003 Battlestar Galactica Syfy Channel reboot was a massive critical success. Old Ron, who had previously worked on Star Trek's DS9 and Voyager, took a kitschy but hopelessly dated Star Wars wanna-be by Glen Larson, creator of Knight Rider, and entirely remade, not only the image of the show, but the image of sci-fi/space-opera for the next decade. It was so good, even girls watched it. It was so good, even Edward James Olmos (Blade Runner, Hill Street Blues, Miami Vice) was in it. Check out the original mini-series trailer to see some pure space-awesomeness:

I know, right? So recently, there have been talks of producing another, yes, another reboot of this venerable space shoot-em-up with a different cast and production team as well as the added twist that the new show or movie in question would go back and pay homage to its 70s roots in some way. Does that mean more disco aliens? In the meantime, take a look at College Humor's take on the story, this time with an 80s slant. If you enjoyed those old Nintendo RPGs like Final Fantasy and Legend of Zelda back in the day, you'll probably enjoy this as well - sorry about the ad:

CollegeHumor's Favorite Funny Videos

The Empire Strikes Back Uncut

A few years ago you may remember a little thing called the Star Wars Uncut project, which brought together amateur film makers from all over the world in an attempt to re-make the classic 1977 screen gem in little bits and pieces. After having chopped up the film into 15 second segments, fans were then invited by the producers to claim a piece and recreate it in anyway imaginable. Some folks used action figures, some acted the parts out in costume, some used crude animations. Once the 473 individual videos had been collected, the producers spliced together the various parts, added sound effects and music and the rest is history (you can watch the watch the entire film at the end of this post). Now, some two years after the successful premiere of Episode IV (or "Star Wars" as those of us over the age of 30 like to call it), the same group responsible has put out the call for their next project: The Empire Strikes Back (or "Episode V" for non-retros). You can head on over to www.starwarsuncut.com/empire to claim your scene and test your hand at low-budget movie-making, but you'd better hurry as there are just a few scenes left to choose from, and while your submission make it, its inclusion in the final film is not guaranteed since a number of applicants will be allowed to take a stab at any one scene. May the farce be with you.

CLICK HERE TO VISIT STARWARS UNCUT: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

BONUS VIDEO - THE ENTIRE STAR WARS UNCUT MOVIE!


Star Wars Uncut: Director's Cut from Casey Pugh on Vimeo.

UPDATE: TRON 3 + TRON LEBOWSKI 2

Recent interviews with Joseph Kosinski, director of the 2010 Tron sequel, Tron: Legacy, have shed a bit more light on a possible third film in the classic Disney sci-fi adventure series. Click the links for more details:

CLICK HERE TO READ ARTICLE #1 - COLLIDER

CLICK HERE TO READ ARTICLE #2 - GEEK TYRANT

BONUS VIDEOS: TWO DIFFERENT TRON LEBOWSKI TRAILERS!!!

CollegeHumor's Favorite Funny Videos

Movie Trailer "The Tron Lebowski" by indymogul

Return of Them Damned Jedis

But what about Chewie?

With all of the talk about Star Wars Episode 7 coming our way, the hot question on everyone's lips has been whether or not the original heros from a galaxy far, far away would be rejoining the saga. And while just a few weeks ago, Carrie Fisher stated that she was on board with the new project, what everyone really wanted to know was if scoundrel and ladies man, Han Solo, would be returning to the big screen in the form of Harrison Ford. Well, this is where it gets tricky. Read on...

Ford told WGNTV, "I think it's almost true...I'm looking forward to it....It's not in the bag but I think it's happening."

...and in an interview with Bloomberg's business week master-creator George Lucas had this to say...

"We had already signed Mark and Carrie and Harrison -- or we were pretty much in final stages of negotiation. So I called them to say, 'Look, this is what's going on," Lucas said. "Maybe I'm not supposed to say that. I think they want to announce that with some big whoop-de-do, but we were negotiating with them. I won't say whether the negotiations were successful or not."

...of course, what would the Star Wars saga be without the chosen one himself (Mark Hamill), who chimed in with this...

"They're talking to us. George [Lucas] wanted to know whether we'd be interested. He did say that if we didn't want to do it, they wouldn't cast another actor in our parts - they would write us out. ... I can tell you right away that we haven't signed any contracts. We're in the stage where they want us to go in and meet with Michael Arndt, who is the writer, and Kathleen Kennedy, who is going to run Lucasfilm. Both have had meetings set that were postponed -- on their end, not mine. They're more busy than I am."

It sounds hopeful but who knows? Keep your fingers crossed and hope none of them dies of old age before they get to this next trilogy!

Beam Me Up, Portland!

Leave it to Portland, Oregon to keep feeding us white, geeky, hipster news. The land espoused by SNL alum, Fred Armisen, to be the place where "the 90s never died" and "the tattoo ink never runs dry," has dipped a little further back into pop-culture's history to bring us a new summer pastime: Trek in the Park. Check out the video below - my apologies for the ad - for a glimpse of the Oregonian brother-sister duo, Adam and Amy Rosko, staging dramatic recreations of some of the original Star Trek's most-loved episodes to an audience of folks who are too hip to have cable.

CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL ARTICLE AND GALLERY ON CBS NEWS

Into the Fox's Den

So it seems that long-time co-workers, David Duchovny and GIllian Anderson have finally done what their on-screen X-Files personas could never accomplish. Yup, they're dating. There's even reports that the two have moved in together and Gill's kids are now living with the Kalifornia star (no not Californication, Kalifornia, which is better anyway). Here's a quote I stole off of Geekologie:

"A source exclusively told CDL that David and Gillian have been in a serious relationship for some time now and she and her children are shacking up with the Californication actor. This is a long time coming for the pair whose chemistry on their hit show was always a source of tabloid conjecture. Gillian and David worked together from 1993 to 2002 and starred in the movie version in 2008. Although it seems every fan in the world wanted to get the two together, a relationship was never declared during filming."

Now, I've been doing some web-digging, and it seems that this is mostly conjecture and the reports have all been from way-sketchy sources - plus their publicists are denying the whole thing - but the public doesn't care! This is geek-couple royalty we're talking about here and it's been a few years since we've had a good Mulder-And-Scully-Are-Doing-It story! You can read about it more HERE by searching Google.

Third Planet from Awesome

When I was a kid, one of my favorite books to kill time with was the children's science-fiction classic, Third Planet from Altair (1977) by Edward Packard. It wasn't an ordinary book that you read straight through from beginning to end, but rather an early example of children's literature which employed multiple-plot narratives – that is to say, the story was written in such a way that it allowed the reader to choose how the protagonist reacted in certain situations which invariably lead to new and unpredictable outcomes. This meant that you could read the book over and over again and never experience the exact same story twice. Needless to say, this innovative style, which was popularized by Packard himself, struck a note with young readers and ultimately became a significant influence on the development of the game-book genre in the 80s and 90s. Eventually, many other books by many other authors were added to the series, which became known as "Choose Your Own Adventure," and plenty of clones from other companies were introduced as well such as game-guru Steve Jackson's "Fighting Fantasy" and the "Find Your Fate" series, which featured James Bond and Indiana Jones. Well thanks to University of Maryland student, Greg Lord, we here in the future can now take a closer look into Third Planet from Altair utilizing a unique macro view that demonstrates how the pieces of a "Choose Your Own Adventure" plot all fit together. Along with a flow-chart that maps out the entire story and details each pitfall, Mr. Lord also provides an interesting and detailed analysis into the shaping and construction of such a story and even some insights as to how it relates to hypertext, the basis for all modern web pages.

You can check out his site HERE.

Now turn to page 6.

Star Wars Micro Arcade Machine

In 1983, the Star Wars franchise was still quite the Hollywood juggernaut as the final installment (or so we thought) of the classic space saga had just been released and moviegoers everywhere were lining up in droves to find out if Darth Vader was really, in fact, Luke Skywalker's father (SPOLIER ALERT: He was, and also Chewbacca turned out to be his sister). Now, the other pimply-faced-teen-oriented money-making powerhouse at the time was none other than the venerable Atari Corp., who had previously been responsible for many of the world's best-loved arcade titles, such as Asteroids and Centipede, as well as some of the worst, like E.T. Little did they know at the time that their hitherto unstoppable cash-machine was about to come to a grinding halt, precipitating the North American Video Game Crash of '83. But just before the proverbial shit hit the metaphorical fan, they managed to release several more classic arcade machines, not the least of which was Star Wars, a game that successfully married the action-packed wizardry of Atari with the spectacular imagination of George Lucas. While of course it's considered to be fairly simple by today's video game standards, Star Wars still holds up as a competent first-person space-shooter that eschews pure realism for good old twitchy fun. So fun, in fact, that a very clever fellow, who goes by the name of Le Chuck, decided to build his own Star Wars arcade machine to have around the house. Well ol' Chuckie must have been short on space because he ended up making a 1:6 scale version of the game which, at 12 inches high, makes a great companion piece to any standard 12 inch action figure, which can be seen HERE along with several other photos of this minuscule masterpiece (worth it). Check out the (somewhat long) video below to get a peek of it in action - yes, it is fully functional including the custom-built steering yoke. And make sure you catch the last 2 minutes if you'd like to see a slide show of the building process. If Le Chuck ever decides to sell this thing, it'll be number one on my Christmas list.

The Return of The Talking Head

Remember a few years ago when we were all facing the big digital TV switch and 480i was fast becoming a dirty word? Hell, it was like Y2K all over again with people freaking out at max capacity over that fact that they might not be able to watch The Black Donnellys if they didn't get the right upgrade at the right time. Of course the government shepherded the whole thing along to massive success and not one episode of the Surreal Life went unwatched; and they did so with good reason, as the powers that be we're likely keen to keep the national opiate flowing at full throttle in order to help curb any potential insurgence from the natives. Now while all of this was going on, our Brit pals across the pond were in the midst of a simliar HDTV switchover, and in order to help facilitate public awareness of the event resurrected an old television personality to serve as their spokesperson. In the U.S. we know him primarily from his obnoxious yet oddly compelling New Coke commercials, while the more savvy geeks will recognize him from his eponymous cyberpunk TV show, but however he appeared on-screen, Max Headroom was a force to be reckoned with and he most definitely reveled in his time as the supreme talking head. Check out the video below to see BBC Channel 4's advert featuring the now quite aged king of the CRT. Rule Britannia!

Better Than the Prequels

Fan films seem to be a dime a dozen these days, given the proliferation of high-speed internet and low-cost video equipment – hell, you can shoot, edit and upload an entire film just using your phone these days. But back when the internet was still all grey backgrounds and lo-res graphics, bandwidth was thin and frail which resulted in suuuuuuper-slow data transfers and frequent dropped connections. The worst was when your ISP was so packed with users already that you couldn't even get connected when you wanted to, at which point I suppose you'd just go back to watching X-Files on your standard definition TV or reading about Heaven's Gate in the newspaper. Ahh the salad days. So, with a dearth (no pun intended) of internet bandwidth available to the general masses (salutes) and the limitations of a cost prohibitive and a relatively immature desktop video industry, fan films were being made, just not being seen by anyone outside of the director's local radius. The videos that did circulate on the then fledgling internet were generally clips from popular TV shows and movies, and were so small (in order to facilitate their transfer over standard telephone modems) that the term "thumbnail video" was quickly adopted to describe these 15 second, 128x128 pixel little movie files. But, and here's the payoff, in 1997 just as modem speeds were beginning to pick up, a Star Wars fan film shot in the Mojave Desert called TROOPS (a parody on the TV series 'COPS') made its debut on the web. There was no YouTube at the time and search engines were still rudimentary at best, so trying to actually watch the thing was kind of difficult. But against all odds, the little-fan-film-that-could would eventually become one of the earliest internet smash-hits, inspiring hordes of up-and-coming movie makers to pick up their VHS-C cameras and start shooting their friends wearing Stormtrooper helmets. You can view the entire thing in negative-HD down below.