8-Bit Cinema

Stolen from Deviant Art. How's THAT for deviancy?

Ever wish you could see your favorite movie or TV series remade into an old school Nintendo-style video game? Well now you can with CineFix's 8-Bit Cinema series on YouTube.  A partial list of their remakes includes Jurassic Park, Big Lebowski, Terminator 2, Happy Gilmore, The Shining, Frozen (for the kiddies) and even The Walking Dead. While a more anally-retentive nit-picker would point out that some of their productions tend to lean closer to the 16/32-bit era art-style, I won't do that here.

Whoops, sorry.

So enjoy the videos and check out the links below for even more CineFix craziness. Sorry for the pre-roll ads, Google are greedy bastards.



CLICK HERE FOR MORE 8-BIT CINEMA

CLICK HERE TO VISIT CINEFIX

HISHE: Tron Rap

An example of early computer animation.

If you're a dork like me, you'll love this. Although I still would have preferred a more old-school rap style for this particular video, like UTFO.

The Animated Adventures of Indiana Jones

"Soooo are you still up for doing Indiana Jones 5?"

Quick! What could be better than watching Steven Spielberg's classic adventure, Raiders of the Lost Ark, right now on your Multimedia PC for free? Well, not much, but this animated version from Squirrels Ink Productions is pretty awesome. Happy Friday and enjoy!

Retro Round-Up

Lordy have we got a lot of retro-geekin' news for you on this lovely Tuesday! Today's Retro Round-Up includes Amiga computers, acquitted murderers, new Star Wars and old Star Trek, what more could you ask for? Check out the links below before you get any older, gramps.

Lando Calrissian Returns in Star Wars: Rebels Animated Series
Dissed by Abrams but still loved by Disney, our favorite space-scoundrel-turned-malt-liquor-pimp strikes back!




The City on the Edge of Forever #1 Out This Wednesday
The classic Harlan Ellison-penned original series Star Trek episode gets its own graphic novel this week.




Turn Your Old Mac Into a New Amiga
Got some old Amiga software? Got a PowerPC computer you're not using? Well then, you're probably the only person you know who'll enjoy this.




It Was 20 Years Ago Today: The OJ. Chase
Relive the excitement of television's first combination live celebrity car chase and Ford Bronco commercial!

The Terminator - How It Should End

"I'll be governor!"

Everyone loved the Terminator movies, right? But that franchise's glory days were pretty much over once director James Cameron's involvement with the series came to an end. And while his action-packed, pseudo-sci-fiction "duology" pretty much stood on its own with the first two films, Hollywood as usual, got its evil mitts on the property and began to spawn terrible sequels and ho-hum TV shows and really just a bunch of un-necessary stuff that no one needed to see.

So leave it to the geniuses at "How It Should Have Ended" to come up with a final story to permanently close the series' final plot-loop-hole* and terminate the franchise forever. And how does one achieve this? Why, go back in time and kill the man who invented time-travel, of course! Enjoy the video!

*Patent-pending on that word.

People We'll Miss: Harold Ramis

Harold Ramis 1944-2014

Comedian, actor, writer, director and producer Harold Ramis died yesterday, February 24, 2014. He has left an enormous legacy behind him having worked on countless films, television shows and even radio shows, where he got his start on National Lampoon's Radio Hour. You can read all about Harold's achievements on the web as he was an active force even up until his final days, but I won't go into any of that here. Suffice it to say that while he was alive he made many, many people laugh either directly or indirectly. So in tribute to this comedy legend, I present to you one of my favorite scenes from one of my all-time favorite sci-fi movies, Heavy Metal (1981), in which Harold starred along with some his fellow SCTV alums, including John Candy, Eugene Levy and Joe Flaherty.

Stalking E.T.

Do not attempt this at home.

By the early 1980s, Steven Spielberg was already becoming a household name with movies like Jaws, Close Encounters and Raiders of the Lost Ark firmly tucked under his director's belt. But 1982 would turn out to be the year ol' Steve would finally earn his place amongst the most successful movie makers of the 20th century with the release of E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial, a sci-fi-esque tale about a boy and his xenobiological buddy from outer space. While Spielberg's pal, George Lucas (of Star Wars fame) had already taught Hollywood how to make tons of cash by filming plastic models, blue screens and puppets, the box office earnings of Steven's E.T. proved that in the end, all they really needed was the puppets. Even without the fantastic space battles and over-the-top effects, E.T. managed to capture the imaginations of 80s moviegoers by expertly pulling their heart-strings in a totally non-stupid way and in doing so introduced them to the then-budding genre of the "feel-good-movie," something that pretty much only Disney had dabbled with up to that point.

Unlike Star Wars, the story of E.T. is not set in a galaxy far, far away and in fact takes place entirely on our own planet, which may help explain the film's more universal appeal. Instead of trying to digest a menagerie of alien peoples and bizarre locales, viewers quickly embraced the story of a single, out-of-place alien set against the backdrop of a comfortably familiar suburban America. The realistic accessibility of the film's settings, coupled with the emotional artillery of Spielberg's vision, is why, I believe, so many stalkers fans have sought these locations out, in hopes of reconnecting with their childhood memories and feelings, basically the same reason I write this blog.

Well if you were one of those kids whose favorite candy suddenly became Reese's Pieces because of this adorable little puppet invader alien, then check out this video by amateur filmmaker, Herve Attia. In it, he nicely dovetails contemporary photos of the various E.T. filming locations into original scenes from the film and surprisingly, many of the areas he visited haven't changed much in the last 30 years. The video is very well done and worth a look, especially if you're a fan. But if you're not, then go visit geekologie.com or something and read about bacon, which in fact, is not really that geeky no matter what they claim.

Star Wars on the Small Screen

Star Wars on your TV? No way!

Within the Grand Geekdom of Star Wars, it seems that the producers of said saga have always relished in the scapegoating of the now infamous television one-off, The Star Wars Holiday Special, which has long been regarded as the "red-headed stepchild" of the entire pew-pew franchise. This funky two-hour special was originally broadcast in 1978 and featured musical numbers by Jefferson Starship, comedy skits with Harvey Korman and Bea Arthur, and the public's first introduction to space-opera's greatest bounty hunter and general badass, Boba Fett. But I think it's a bit unfair for Lucas and company to shrug off this classic 70's variety show as if it were their only foray into total goofiness, because I recall more than a few odd appearances by Luke Skywalker and his galactic buddies on the small screen during that quiet period between the first two films, which, although I didn't realize at the time, mostly served to keep the giant Star Wars publicity machine rolling until the next flick was released. After all, you gotta keep selling action figures during down time, right?

So in order to support my ongoing quest to prove that I'm right about everything, I present to you one of my favorite retro moments featuring disco, droids and Jedi in hopes that you'll all come to see that George Lucas has, perhaps, a few more skeletons in his closet than he'd like to admit to. Enjoy.

YOU SAY YOU'VE SEEN DANCING STORMTROOPERS? NOT UNTIL YOU'VE SEEN THIS.

BONUS VIDEO:
MUPPETS MEET STAR WARS…AND 30 YEARS LATER DISNEY BUYS THEM BOTH.

Hobbit Your Way

Harry Potter

With part two of Peter Jackson's The Hobbit trilogy on its way into theaters next month, I got to thinking about my first exposure to J.R.R. Tolkien's fantastical world of magic and mystery via the small screen way back in 1977. The works of TV moguls Rankin and Bass had already been familiar to me as a child and each holiday season I eagerly looked forward to their stop motion and cartoon productions of Rudolph, Frosty and, you know, that one with the Heat Miser. But it was one of their animated tales, that seemed for the first time to not be based upon anything I had already heard about in story or song, that really made an impression on me. So instead of the usual stories about what might happen if Christmas never came or how elves all really wanted to be orthopedic surgeons, that particular Sunday in November of '77 I sat and watched a mezmerizing tale of wizards and halflings, dwarves and goblins and of course, dungeons and dragons (or perhaps more accurately, tunnels and trolls) and it was pure awesome. The artwork, while a bit clunky by today's standards, had a warm and funky 70s watercolor style I hadn't ever witnessed before in the works of Mr. Disney or Messieurs Hanna and Barbera. The music and sound production, too, were on the quirky side of odd and the whole thing seemed to reek of a production company being forced to work under a tighter budget than was probably required (although in actuality they spent about $3,000,000 but I'm guessing most of that went to the voice talent and licensing the story). Due at least in part to the fact that there were only three channels available on television at the time, the show became an instant hit, not only with kids but it also gained some critical acclaim when it nearly beat out Star Wars for a Hugo sci-fi/fantasy award (the fact that it lost to Lucas' highly derivative saga is ironic in too many ways to count!) So while I enjoyed Peter Jackson's adaptation of the first part of The Hobbit (Martin Freeman blows Elijah Wood out of the water, whilst Sean Astin just blows Elijah - sorry, had to go there) I think the Rankin/Bass production still holds up well, especially within the context of being a children's film, and deserves to be celebrated along with all of the various incarnations of Tolkien's tales of Middle-Earth. So if you haven't seen it before, and especially if you plan on going to see The Desolation of Smaug in December, grab your cloak and pipe and check out the video below for a look at the original 1977 Rankin/Bass production of The Hobbit. Enjoy. Sorry about the French subtitles - unless of course you only speak French, in which case Je vous en prie.

Mazes and Monsters

Splash. No, wait. Bachelor Party. Yes, I'd say Bachelor Party has always been my favorite film starring the great American actor, Tom Hanks. Replete with exotic dancers, pill-popping donkeys and of course Tawny Kitaen, Bachelor Party has easily got to be the finest showcase ever created for the Gump-talking, Oscar-winning, A-list superstar. That is, until I remembered this little gem of a turd called Mazes and Monsters.

Crap.

You see, a long, long time ago, studying at MSU, there was a 16 year-old, drug-addicted, clinically depressed, child prodigy named James Dallas Egbert III who, in 1979, decided to take his own life in the steam tunnels under his school. When the suicide didn't take, the kid flipped out and fled the campus, ultimately making his way to Louisiana, after which he attempted to kill himself a second time before succeeding on the third. I'm not going to retell the entire story as you can just read that here: James Dallas Egbert III on Wikipedia, however suffice it to say that the kid's apparent disappearance was never adequately explained to the public and instead, a theory put forth by an investigator was erroneously recirculated by the press which eventually became the de facto answer to the mystery. The theory held that since James had played Dungeons and Dragons (D&D) back in high school, he must have entered the school's steam tunnels during a live-action version of the game and somehow gotten lost. In fact, the investigator later discovered James living in New Orleans but as a favor to him, promised he would never reveal his true fate, and thus everyone would go on to believe that the boy was just an unfortunate casualty of an evil, evil game.

Now, never let it be said that Americans can't find great opportunity in a terrible tragedy because a couple of years after the incident in the MSU steam tunnels, novelist Rona Jaffe decided to set pen to paper and create a story based upon the theories and myths that had sprung up around James' disappearance, not knowing, of course, the boy's true fate. Her book was called Mazes and Monsters, in reference to the game that was supposedly to blame, and it garnered her a bit of attention in the wake of the moral panic over role-playing games that was beginning to take hold in the U.S. in the early 1980s.

One year after Jaffe's book was published, the inevitable cheese-ball TV adaptation (starring a budding young actor named Tom "Houston, we have a problem" Hanks) was produced by CBS, and served as a further warning to nervous parents everywhere about the unknown dangers of these twisted and demonic fantasy games. Ironically, CBS would go on to produce the successful Dungeons & Dragons children's cartoon series one year later.

Since I hadn't seen the original flick since its first airing in '82, I decided to rewatch as much of it as I could stomach, and folks, I'm delighted to say that it is gloriously bad. Like Refer Madness bad. Keep on scrolling to watch a clip of Tom Hanks have a psychological freak-out in the face of an imaginary Gorn-like creature deep in the bowels of a paper maché cave, or you can watch the entire movie if you like. Pick your poison!

TOM HANKS FREAKS OUT

MONSTERS AND MAZES FULL MOVIE

Mystery Science Theater Forever!

From left: Gypsy, Crow, Joel and Tom

Cable! Huh! Yeah! What's it good for? Absolutely nothing! Considering the rapidly rising costs associated with cable and satellite TV and the fact that high-speed internet is now a staple service in most American homes, it's no wonder people all across this great nation are cutting the cord, so to speak. The web's got the networks beat in terms of accessibility, cost and sheer amount of video content, and now there's one more reason to unhook that cable box once and for all. I present to you Club-MST3K, the site that let's you watch just about every single episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 ever made, even the original KTMA local cable channel episodes! If you're a fan, you already know the story. If not, here's a quick lesson: dude and his robots are stranded in space and are forced by mad scientists to watch old B-movies and make fun of them. If you want a history lesson, go HERE. If you just want to jump right into the videos and relive those wacky moments with Joel/Mike and the bots, click the big bold link.

CLICK HERE TO VISIT CLUB MST3K AND GET YOUR MST3K ON

BONUS VIDEO: BEST RIFFS MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000

G-Force! Transmute!

The original Science Ninja Team Gatchaman

1972 was an epic year. Pink Floyd was in the middle of recording their magnum opus, Dark Side of the Moon,  Nixon began U.S. diplomatic relations with China and signed the ABMT just two years before his infamous ousting, and man would set foot on the moon for the last time in history. Plus I was born, so, you know, pretty epic.

At the same time, however, far off in the exotic and mysterious land of Japan, a self-taught manga artist named Tatsuo Yoshida, who had already experienced success with his auto racing series, Mach Go Go Go (a.k.a. Speed Racer), was busy creating a new animated science fiction show called Science Ninja Team Gatchaman. The premise of this series was that an ancient, super-advanced alien race from another world was hell-bent on harvesting the Earth for its natural resources and, of course, only a specially-trained team of five teenaged science-ninjas dressed as space-birds could protect the planet from the evil menace known as Galactor. If that wasn't weird enough, the series' main antagonist, and ever-present pain in the ninja-team's ass, was a shape-shifting mutant hermaphrodite named Berg Katse, who could change genders at will in order to fool his/her/its enemies. Each member of the five-man ninja-team had a unique hero-identity, weapon, costume and skills and could join together with the others to further increase their super-powers. For the inevitable giant mecha battles that would end almost every episode, the youngsters had at their disposal a huge space/air/water ship, called the Phoenix, which not only boasted an impressive arsenal of weaponry, but also housed each team member's personal transport as well. The space-bird show was a huge success in Japan, spawning two sequels and effectively setting the template for future Japanese action series like Voltron and Super Sentai (a.k.a. the Power Rangers). But that was just the beginning.

In 1978, American producer Sandy Frank, who fans of MST3000 may recognize as the importer of many Japanese B-films, saw the potential of re-marketing the science fiction series to a U.S. audience in the wake of the massive Star Wars space-renaissance happening at the time. After stripping the show of whatever violence, profanity and sexual references would have been deemed inappropriate in the States, Frank's production company re-edited and re-dubbed the show to be more kid-friendly eventually creating what every American boy born between 1968 and 1974 would come to know as Battle of the Planets, which became a veritable primer on Japanese anime style for an entire generation of geeks-to-be. Frank's concept of re-editing Science Ninja Team Gatchaman into a wholly new show was so successful, that it was repeated two more times resulting in G-Force: Guardians of Space in 1986 and Eagle Riders in 1996.

Each of these adaptations had their merits, but none of them held true to Tatsuo Yoshida's original vision, and eventually, the American grown-ups who had cut their teeth on the watered-down children's versions were clamoring for a return to the classic tale that had spawned the "five-man superhero team" genre so many years ago.  Eventually, the entire uncut series (of 105 episodes) was released on DVD while a moderately successful Japanese-produced 3-episode animated reboot of the series went direct-to-video in 1994. The fans ate all of this up, and the buzz for more Gatchaman kept building while the first rumors of a live action version began to surface. Several years (and at least one unsuccessful attempt) later, I am ecstatic to announce that the first trailers for the first live-action Gatchaman film have arrived. The movie is to be released in Japan on August 24th, but we will have to wait and see what its availability will be outside of the country. For now, you can at least watch the trailer here on RetroGeeker and/or check out the official site by clicking the link below. Enjoy!

Gatchaman 2013

CLICK HERE TO VISIT THE OFFICIAL GATCHAMAN MOVIE SITE

UPDATE: FAN-SUBBED VERSION BELOW!

8-Bit Star Trek Reboot

Actual scene from J.J. Abrams' 2009 hit, Star Trek.

Ever wonder what J.J. Abrams' Star Trek movie would look like as an 8-bit game?
Me neither. Watch this...

Star Trek: Into Whatever

So I went to see Star Trek: Into Dark Knight Darkness last weekend and as a lifelong Trekker all I can say is meh. I'd say the movie was 20% Star Trek (pointy ears) and 80% generic fill-in-any-action-hero-you-like-and-it'll-still-be-the-same-flick kind of stuff (Tom Cruise). Don't get me wrong, the effects were great, the action was non-stop, Alice Eve stripped down to her underwear, etc. but still...meh...they should have called it Star Trek: The Search for Plot. Anyway, one of the (many) things missing from this flick was some genuine humor. Oh there were a few attempts here and there, but I honestly can't remember any of them right now, which means they must not have been that good. So in celebration of the fact that Star Trek still exists in any form and the fact that it's Friday and we all could all use some laughs, I present to you: What's In Spock's Scanner Parts 1 & 2. Have a great weekend and live long and, you know...

WHAT'S IN SPOCK'S SCANNER PART 1

WHAT'S IN SPOCK'S SCANNER PART 2

Battlestar Galactica 8-Bit RPG

For those of you who missed it, Ronald D. Moore's 2003 Battlestar Galactica Syfy Channel reboot was a massive critical success. Old Ron, who had previously worked on Star Trek's DS9 and Voyager, took a kitschy but hopelessly dated Star Wars wanna-be by Glen Larson, creator of Knight Rider, and entirely remade, not only the image of the show, but the image of sci-fi/space-opera for the next decade. It was so good, even girls watched it. It was so good, even Edward James Olmos (Blade Runner, Hill Street Blues, Miami Vice) was in it. Check out the original mini-series trailer to see some pure space-awesomeness:

I know, right? So recently, there have been talks of producing another, yes, another reboot of this venerable space shoot-em-up with a different cast and production team as well as the added twist that the new show or movie in question would go back and pay homage to its 70s roots in some way. Does that mean more disco aliens? In the meantime, take a look at College Humor's take on the story, this time with an 80s slant. If you enjoyed those old Nintendo RPGs like Final Fantasy and Legend of Zelda back in the day, you'll probably enjoy this as well - sorry about the ad:

CollegeHumor's Favorite Funny Videos

Happy Towel Day!

“A towel, [The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy] says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-boggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.” - Douglas Adams

BONUS VIDEO - THE 2005 HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE MOVIE TRAILER

UPDATE: TRON 3 + TRON LEBOWSKI 2

Recent interviews with Joseph Kosinski, director of the 2010 Tron sequel, Tron: Legacy, have shed a bit more light on a possible third film in the classic Disney sci-fi adventure series. Click the links for more details:

CLICK HERE TO READ ARTICLE #1 - COLLIDER

CLICK HERE TO READ ARTICLE #2 - GEEK TYRANT

BONUS VIDEOS: TWO DIFFERENT TRON LEBOWSKI TRAILERS!!!

CollegeHumor's Favorite Funny Videos

Movie Trailer "The Tron Lebowski" by indymogul

Return of Them Damned Jedis

But what about Chewie?

With all of the talk about Star Wars Episode 7 coming our way, the hot question on everyone's lips has been whether or not the original heros from a galaxy far, far away would be rejoining the saga. And while just a few weeks ago, Carrie Fisher stated that she was on board with the new project, what everyone really wanted to know was if scoundrel and ladies man, Han Solo, would be returning to the big screen in the form of Harrison Ford. Well, this is where it gets tricky. Read on...

Ford told WGNTV, "I think it's almost true...I'm looking forward to it....It's not in the bag but I think it's happening."

...and in an interview with Bloomberg's business week master-creator George Lucas had this to say...

"We had already signed Mark and Carrie and Harrison -- or we were pretty much in final stages of negotiation. So I called them to say, 'Look, this is what's going on," Lucas said. "Maybe I'm not supposed to say that. I think they want to announce that with some big whoop-de-do, but we were negotiating with them. I won't say whether the negotiations were successful or not."

...of course, what would the Star Wars saga be without the chosen one himself (Mark Hamill), who chimed in with this...

"They're talking to us. George [Lucas] wanted to know whether we'd be interested. He did say that if we didn't want to do it, they wouldn't cast another actor in our parts - they would write us out. ... I can tell you right away that we haven't signed any contracts. We're in the stage where they want us to go in and meet with Michael Arndt, who is the writer, and Kathleen Kennedy, who is going to run Lucasfilm. Both have had meetings set that were postponed -- on their end, not mine. They're more busy than I am."

It sounds hopeful but who knows? Keep your fingers crossed and hope none of them dies of old age before they get to this next trilogy!

First Peek at Star Trek 12

With the massive success of the first outside-produced Star Trek film in 2009, Paramount has finally got a Star Wars-type property on their hands and far be it from the bean counters to stop a charging juggernaut while it's dropping bags of gold out of it's butt. Hence, here comes Trek outing # 12 titled: STAR TREK: Into Darkness, because nothing's worth watching anymore unless it's sufficiently dark. Coming to theaters in May of 2013, here is the first peek at the next J.J Abrams-directed adventure featuring Kirk and company. Personally I thought the new movie should be titled "Star Trek 90210" but I think I'm just being bitter about Vulcan blowing up in that last flick. Enjoy.

William & Theodore's Rather Tepid Outing

Over the past couple of years there's been talk here and there on the cyberweb regarding a potential second sequel to the film that introduced the world to those goofy 80s zonk-heads, William S. Preston Esquire & Ted "Theodore" Logan, of the band that was meant to save humanity from itself, Wyld Stallyns! (I believe that the exclamation point is actually part of their name). So with Keanu "I know Kung-Fu" Reeves spouting his ridiculously wishful director's choices off to the press, including such heavyweights as Scorcese and Coppola, while making vague statements suggesting that the lukewarmly-anticipated threequel is already in the can (and I mean film can, not toilet) one has to wonder what Alex Winter, the other half of the questionably-talented but totally loveable dumbass duo has to say about it. Well after nearly two years of dead silence about the project from everyone who could possibly be involved, Alex has let it slip to the mass media that the script is complete, Dean Parisot, of Galaxy Quest fame, is attached to direct and both he and Reeves are on board to help propel the next chapter of the franchise forward. I just hope it's better than that godawful after-school cartoon or the even-more-painfully-bad live action TV show that the networks tried to sneak past us. Who knows, since Chris Matheson and Ed Solomon, the writers of the original film, are involved it may actually be a nostalgically fun flick.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW MORE?