Retro Round-Up

Lordy have we got a lot of retro-geekin' news for you on this lovely Tuesday! Today's Retro Round-Up includes Amiga computers, acquitted murderers, new Star Wars and old Star Trek, what more could you ask for? Check out the links below before you get any older, gramps.

Lando Calrissian Returns in Star Wars: Rebels Animated Series
Dissed by Abrams but still loved by Disney, our favorite space-scoundrel-turned-malt-liquor-pimp strikes back!




The City on the Edge of Forever #1 Out This Wednesday
The classic Harlan Ellison-penned original series Star Trek episode gets its own graphic novel this week.




Turn Your Old Mac Into a New Amiga
Got some old Amiga software? Got a PowerPC computer you're not using? Well then, you're probably the only person you know who'll enjoy this.




It Was 20 Years Ago Today: The OJ. Chase
Relive the excitement of television's first combination live celebrity car chase and Ford Bronco commercial!

Star Wars VII Cast Announced

No Lando?

If you haven't already heard, the cast for the upcoming Episode VII of the Star Wars has finally been announced: John Boyega, Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac, Andy Serkis, Domhnall Gleeson, and Max von Sydow. And as expected, original trilogy stars Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Anthony Daniels, Peter Mayhew and Kenny Baker have all been confirmed as well.

CLICK HERE TO MEET THE NEW CAST

Star Wars on the Small Screen

Star Wars on your TV? No way!

Within the Grand Geekdom of Star Wars, it seems that the producers of said saga have always relished in the scapegoating of the now infamous television one-off, The Star Wars Holiday Special, which has long been regarded as the "red-headed stepchild" of the entire pew-pew franchise. This funky two-hour special was originally broadcast in 1978 and featured musical numbers by Jefferson Starship, comedy skits with Harvey Korman and Bea Arthur, and the public's first introduction to space-opera's greatest bounty hunter and general badass, Boba Fett. But I think it's a bit unfair for Lucas and company to shrug off this classic 70's variety show as if it were their only foray into total goofiness, because I recall more than a few odd appearances by Luke Skywalker and his galactic buddies on the small screen during that quiet period between the first two films, which, although I didn't realize at the time, mostly served to keep the giant Star Wars publicity machine rolling until the next flick was released. After all, you gotta keep selling action figures during down time, right?

So in order to support my ongoing quest to prove that I'm right about everything, I present to you one of my favorite retro moments featuring disco, droids and Jedi in hopes that you'll all come to see that George Lucas has, perhaps, a few more skeletons in his closet than he'd like to admit to. Enjoy.

YOU SAY YOU'VE SEEN DANCING STORMTROOPERS? NOT UNTIL YOU'VE SEEN THIS.

BONUS VIDEO:
MUPPETS MEET STAR WARS…AND 30 YEARS LATER DISNEY BUYS THEM BOTH.

An Even Longer Time Ago...

Back in 1974, a young George Lucas, who was still feeling the high from his Best Director nomination for 1973's American Graffiti, had just completed his first draft of a film about space knights and starships called The Star Wars. You know how the story goes, Kane Starkiller and his sons Deak and Annikin all live on the fourth moon of Utapau but after a Sith Knight attack, they escape their self-imposed exile and return to their home world of Aquilae where the wise King Kayos and Queen Breha rule the galaxy. OK so that's not the Star Wars most people know, but it is the story featured in Lucas' first draft of what would eventually become Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, which we all know is really just called Star Wars. In fact, if you refer to the original trilogy by their correct titles, Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, thereby excising the Roman numerals, you can then neatly ignore the F**KING AWFUL prequel series and you're back to just episodes one, two and three. No Jar Jar...no J.J...just the classics. Wow, sorry for the rant. So anyway, Dark Horse Comics, known for having produced the Alien Vs. Predator series, which also lead to two F**KING AWFUL movies, just released the first comic books, sorry graphic novels, from their adaptation of the 1974 Star Wars rough draft. I've read the first book already and the differences are notable. It's an interesting story with a lot more talky talky than the original trilogy. In fact, it sort of resembles the prequels and…crap. Oh well, I'm enjoying it so far. Check out the video I lifted from an NBC affiliate, it explains everything nicely from the point of view of people who don't know jack about what they're reporting on.

LucasArts Says "No More Games"

Ah, Disney. You great absorber of American cultural icons. First the Muppets, then Pixar, later Marvel and now of course, Star Wars. And while just about everyone on the planet is excited about the prospect of a stream of new Star Wars films coming our way, the bajillion-dollar buyout was not without its casualties. Specifically, I'm talking about the LucasArts game division, known for such retro classics as 1990's The Secret of Monkey Island, 1992's Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis and 1995's Full Throttle. For whatever reason, Disney has put the kabosh on the long-time producer of video-tastic hits and game-horrific misses, and in doing so has killed off an American institution that has been chugging along since before your mama was knee-high to a cocktail arcade machine.
The story of what most folks call LucasArts actually begins around 1983 after a successful joint venture between Lucasfilm and Atari which produced the quarter-sucking-classic Star Wars: The Arcade Game. Back then, Star Wars ruled the universe and every kid alive wanted a piece of that laser-blasting action. So for years, the video game industry (along with the movie industry, TV industry, etc.) shamelessly ripped-off the look and feel of Star Wars as much as possible, often without even trying to hide it. Realizing the massive potential for profits to be gained from expanding into other media outlets, and having tasted extraordinary success with their earlier venture into the arcade, Lucasfilm teamed up once again with the other "ruler of the universe" of the time, Atari, to help them with their foray into the world of video game development. The result of this second collaboration was the formation of Lucasfilm Games, which would eventually be reorganized into the gaming division of  LucasArts Entertainment Company in the early 1990s. So in 1984 with the fresh smell of success of still under their noses, Lucasfilm Games blasted out of the gate armed with two now-classic 8-bit games that pushed the boundaries of what was then thought possible with 48K of RAM and a 1.79 Mhz processor: Ballblazer and Rescue on Fractalus. If you aren't familiar with either of these ground-breaking games, do yourself a favor now and head on over to Atarimania.com where they've posted hi-res scans of the original Electronic Games Magazine article from 1984. It's a fascinating and informative read for any retro-gamer or Lucasfilm fan.

CLICK HERE TO READ THE ORIGINAL ARTICLE IN ELECTRONIC GAMES

The Empire Strikes Back Uncut

A few years ago you may remember a little thing called the Star Wars Uncut project, which brought together amateur film makers from all over the world in an attempt to re-make the classic 1977 screen gem in little bits and pieces. After having chopped up the film into 15 second segments, fans were then invited by the producers to claim a piece and recreate it in anyway imaginable. Some folks used action figures, some acted the parts out in costume, some used crude animations. Once the 473 individual videos had been collected, the producers spliced together the various parts, added sound effects and music and the rest is history (you can watch the watch the entire film at the end of this post). Now, some two years after the successful premiere of Episode IV (or "Star Wars" as those of us over the age of 30 like to call it), the same group responsible has put out the call for their next project: The Empire Strikes Back (or "Episode V" for non-retros). You can head on over to www.starwarsuncut.com/empire to claim your scene and test your hand at low-budget movie-making, but you'd better hurry as there are just a few scenes left to choose from, and while your submission make it, its inclusion in the final film is not guaranteed since a number of applicants will be allowed to take a stab at any one scene. May the farce be with you.

CLICK HERE TO VISIT STARWARS UNCUT: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

BONUS VIDEO - THE ENTIRE STAR WARS UNCUT MOVIE!


Star Wars Uncut: Director's Cut from Casey Pugh on Vimeo.

Return of Them Damned Jedis

But what about Chewie?

With all of the talk about Star Wars Episode 7 coming our way, the hot question on everyone's lips has been whether or not the original heros from a galaxy far, far away would be rejoining the saga. And while just a few weeks ago, Carrie Fisher stated that she was on board with the new project, what everyone really wanted to know was if scoundrel and ladies man, Han Solo, would be returning to the big screen in the form of Harrison Ford. Well, this is where it gets tricky. Read on...

Ford told WGNTV, "I think it's almost true...I'm looking forward to it....It's not in the bag but I think it's happening."

...and in an interview with Bloomberg's business week master-creator George Lucas had this to say...

"We had already signed Mark and Carrie and Harrison -- or we were pretty much in final stages of negotiation. So I called them to say, 'Look, this is what's going on," Lucas said. "Maybe I'm not supposed to say that. I think they want to announce that with some big whoop-de-do, but we were negotiating with them. I won't say whether the negotiations were successful or not."

...of course, what would the Star Wars saga be without the chosen one himself (Mark Hamill), who chimed in with this...

"They're talking to us. George [Lucas] wanted to know whether we'd be interested. He did say that if we didn't want to do it, they wouldn't cast another actor in our parts - they would write us out. ... I can tell you right away that we haven't signed any contracts. We're in the stage where they want us to go in and meet with Michael Arndt, who is the writer, and Kathleen Kennedy, who is going to run Lucasfilm. Both have had meetings set that were postponed -- on their end, not mine. They're more busy than I am."

It sounds hopeful but who knows? Keep your fingers crossed and hope none of them dies of old age before they get to this next trilogy!

Not Your Father's Action Figures

In 1978 a little toy company called Kenner began selling a line of action figures based on one of the biggest box office hits of the time, known then simply as Star Wars. At the time, the figures represented the state of the art in miniatures featuring movable limbs and heads and boasted an arsenal of tiny little blasters and light-sabers available for waging intragalactic war. In time, other action figures from competing toy franchises eventually hit the scene, such as G.I. Joe,  which featured more points of articulation, more artistic detail and better "extras," however, because they were ultimately being sold as children's toys, the craftsmanship of most 1980s action figures was not up to the calibur demanded by serious collectors (read: kids that never grew up). Now, current Star Wars toy licensee, Hasbro, has decided to answer that market demand with the introduction of its new Star Wars: The Black Series six-inch scale action figures.

Then and now

Slightly larger than their distant Kenner cousins, the Black Series figures feature top-notch sculpting and detailing, previously unavailable to the Star Wars toy market, along with expertly crafted accessories that match their movie counterparts perfectly. Finally you can recreate your favorite scenes from the Star Wars films without having to squint to make Luke look less like a generic toy as the Black Series figures look as much like the actors who portrayed them on screen as is physically possible on such a small scale. While the original Kenner series action figures cost anywhere from $1.50 to five dollars, and the current line of Star Wars dudes chime in at about nine bucks each, the Black Series will set you back a whopping $20 per figure. Hasbro is said to be showing off the new line at the massive annual TIA Toy Fair in New York this weekend. Let's keep our fingers crossed and wallets at the ready!

Star Trek: The Television Series

J.J. Abrams, the creator of such excrement films as Cloverfield and Super 8 as well as the brains behind the recent Star Trek movies, has, as many of you already know, been charged with the task of finishing off George Lucas' zillion-dollar space-baby, Star Wars, with episodes 7, 8 and 9 starting in 2015 or something like that. (Whew! That's a lot of links!) Well lately, Seth MacFarlane (Family Guy, American Dad) has been showing a lot of love for the classic 80s/90s TV show, Star Trek: The Next Generation (ST:TNG). He's made no secret of his fan status and has repeatedly stated that he would enjoy taking a shot at rebooting the classic sci-fi show for television. Most recently, Seth appeared in one of the documentaries included on the new TNG Blu-ray releases, and a few years back, he actually managed to reassemble the entire main cast for a special episode of Family Guy, in which Stewie builds a transporter and kidnaps Picard and company, which was a wet dream for any classic Trek fan. Check out this video featuring a montage of clips from the show and Seth himself talking about the possibility of his vision of Trek coming to the small screen.

Attack of the Princess Bride Jedi!

Yeah, it's Saturday and I'm feeling lazy, how about you? So instead of the usual witty pop-culture examinations I spew forth daily, here's a cool video clip of the fight scene between Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin) and the Dread Pirate Roberts (Cary Elwes) from the Princess Bride, directed by Rob "Meathead" Reiner, however their standard metal swords have been replaced with super-cool lightsabers. Enjoy and have a great Saturday. And if you haven't even seen this movie, it's a bit of chick-flick but a legitimately clever one, like Sliding Doors, except with more Monty Python-esque sensibilities. You should check it out.

The Princess Bride on iTunes (instant streaming)

The Princess Bride on Amazon (instant streaming)

The Princess Bride on Netflix (disc only, no streaming)

Star Wars Micro Arcade Machine

In 1983, the Star Wars franchise was still quite the Hollywood juggernaut as the final installment (or so we thought) of the classic space saga had just been released and moviegoers everywhere were lining up in droves to find out if Darth Vader was really, in fact, Luke Skywalker's father (SPOLIER ALERT: He was, and also Chewbacca turned out to be his sister). Now, the other pimply-faced-teen-oriented money-making powerhouse at the time was none other than the venerable Atari Corp., who had previously been responsible for many of the world's best-loved arcade titles, such as Asteroids and Centipede, as well as some of the worst, like E.T. Little did they know at the time that their hitherto unstoppable cash-machine was about to come to a grinding halt, precipitating the North American Video Game Crash of '83. But just before the proverbial shit hit the metaphorical fan, they managed to release several more classic arcade machines, not the least of which was Star Wars, a game that successfully married the action-packed wizardry of Atari with the spectacular imagination of George Lucas. While of course it's considered to be fairly simple by today's video game standards, Star Wars still holds up as a competent first-person space-shooter that eschews pure realism for good old twitchy fun. So fun, in fact, that a very clever fellow, who goes by the name of Le Chuck, decided to build his own Star Wars arcade machine to have around the house. Well ol' Chuckie must have been short on space because he ended up making a 1:6 scale version of the game which, at 12 inches high, makes a great companion piece to any standard 12 inch action figure, which can be seen HERE along with several other photos of this minuscule masterpiece (worth it). Check out the (somewhat long) video below to get a peek of it in action - yes, it is fully functional including the custom-built steering yoke. And make sure you catch the last 2 minutes if you'd like to see a slide show of the building process. If Le Chuck ever decides to sell this thing, it'll be number one on my Christmas list.

Better Than the Prequels

Fan films seem to be a dime a dozen these days, given the proliferation of high-speed internet and low-cost video equipment – hell, you can shoot, edit and upload an entire film just using your phone these days. But back when the internet was still all grey backgrounds and lo-res graphics, bandwidth was thin and frail which resulted in suuuuuuper-slow data transfers and frequent dropped connections. The worst was when your ISP was so packed with users already that you couldn't even get connected when you wanted to, at which point I suppose you'd just go back to watching X-Files on your standard definition TV or reading about Heaven's Gate in the newspaper. Ahh the salad days. So, with a dearth (no pun intended) of internet bandwidth available to the general masses (salutes) and the limitations of a cost prohibitive and a relatively immature desktop video industry, fan films were being made, just not being seen by anyone outside of the director's local radius. The videos that did circulate on the then fledgling internet were generally clips from popular TV shows and movies, and were so small (in order to facilitate their transfer over standard telephone modems) that the term "thumbnail video" was quickly adopted to describe these 15 second, 128x128 pixel little movie files. But, and here's the payoff, in 1997 just as modem speeds were beginning to pick up, a Star Wars fan film shot in the Mojave Desert called TROOPS (a parody on the TV series 'COPS') made its debut on the web. There was no YouTube at the time and search engines were still rudimentary at best, so trying to actually watch the thing was kind of difficult. But against all odds, the little-fan-film-that-could would eventually become one of the earliest internet smash-hits, inspiring hordes of up-and-coming movie makers to pick up their VHS-C cameras and start shooting their friends wearing Stormtrooper helmets. You can view the entire thing in negative-HD down below.